Addiction is a Matter of Life and Death

AJ Diaz, LMSW CASAC-T • September 21, 2021

Addiction is a Matter of Life and Death 

In thinking about what to write I asked my colleague what she thought was a good topic that would resonate with others. Unfortunately, she just lost a friend to addiction and she very poignantly said “I can't stop thinking about how life and death the whole situation of addiction is.” If you know anyone who has battled addiction, you know that death is something that can be a part of it.  I think up until now our blogs have had the flavor of positivity, something that is very important. It is equally important to be realistic about what 22 million Americans and all of the people who love them may face - the ultimate rock bottom. 


I remember first hearing “this is life or death!” and immediately thinking how dramatic everyone was being. After all, I was only doing copious amounts of drugs that could stop my respiratory system - not sure what everyone was freaking out about. Then I heard stories of people who knew others who overdosed or died of alcohol poisoning and I immediately remembered the funeral that I went to, for one of my best friends in college. He too died of an overdose, a light extinguished far too soon. 


I Had Little to no Insight Into The Risk of My Addiction

I think back to using and if the threat of overdosing or crashing my car while intoxicated ever crossed my mind. The honest answer is that I know it did. However, when actively using, I couldn’t let that cloud my judgement of what I needed to do - get my hands on something that would make me feel better in that moment. Research suggests that when someone has prolonged exposure or use of a substance, it actually becomes a survival mechanism. It completely overrides the brain and specifically, the prefrontal cortex (where judgement is created) and makes the substance the number one thing on our priority list. Not even the threat of losing my life could stop me. I think back to this and I can honestly say that I am the most fortunate and blessed person to be alive. 


Realizations Setting In

The first time I truly digested what everyone was saying was the first funeral I went to in sobriety. It was a friend of a friend and someone who I had spent some time with. Selfishly and also I think naturally, the only thought I had during the experience was “this seriously could have been me.” I walked out of that with a whole new perspective on the statement “this is life and death.” Ever since that first encounter, I have had the unfortunate experience of having to go to and hear of more and more people losing their life due to addiction. For me, there are two extremely hard realizations when this happens. First, I think that people who struggle with addiction are some of the most talented, creative and wonderful people this earth has to offer. It is gut wrenching to me to think of what the world was deprived of because those people are no longer in it. Secondly, the family, friends and loved ones that are left behind. Addiction is not an isolated illness and no one is an island. When I am actively using, everyone around me feels the effects. 


My Own Experience with Death and Addiction

On the morning of April 10 this year, I got a text message from a good friend who told me that one of our oldest and closest friends passed away from an overdose. I remember looking at my phone and just wilting towards the ground. I sat on the stairs, staring at the text message hoping and praying that it was a mistake. She confirmed it as did posts on social media and I honestly did not know what to do with myself. I called my mom and just cried on the phone. That whole weekend was a complete blur and I couldn't really do anything other than sit on the couch - I was in a complete haze of sadness. I don’t think the pain of losing someone you love ever goes away; it only gets smaller. I miss my friend very much and I think about him all the time. He was someone who was truly larger than life and had the uncanny ability to make anyone he met feel loved and safe. He could also make anyone laugh, no matter the circumstance. The world lost a very special person in my humble opinion. This is the reality when addiction is not treated - there are serious consequences and so many people feel and experience the reverberations. If you think you need help or you know someone who does - we are happy to help you. If you just want to chat, please reach out. You are very much worth it and deserving of a wonderful life.

Jason's Story - From Rock Bottom to New Heights: My Journey of Recovery and Reinvention

By Jason Ertrachter • February 4, 2025
With over a decade of alcohol and drug abuse, it became clear I could not drink responsibly or consume in moderation. Upon further review, I came to understand I was never able to drink responsibly and was predisposed to consume in excess. Moderation is a construct I still don’t understand. Alcohol, drugs, sugar, ego, all things I love to indulge in. At 25 years old, weeks before the pandemic, I found myself being escorted by security from my beloved office in a sought-after industry in a glamorous part of Los Angeles. Pursuing a career in talent management, the late nights, weekly drinking, daily drug use culminated in the unavoidable fear, anxiety and sense of calamity that led me to recovery. I asked myself, “What was the common denominator between lost jobs, friends lost, arrests, hurt feelings and selfishness?” People, places, things were always changing, but the one constant in my story was me with drugs and alcohol. Walking into the West Hollywood Recovery Center on Monday February 5th, 2020 at noon was not my first meeting. It was, however, the first meeting at which I listened and actually took suggestions. Meetings as a teenager, and again in college when my drug use got bad, were simply to get people off my back. As I look back, I understand that I actually needed to get out of my own way, not have those who loved me off of my back. I am grateful to have gotten sober during a time when the world shut down and so many struggled. I had nowhere to go, no outside distractions to challenge my commitment. I fully emerged myself in meetings and all that AA had to offer for young people. There were thousands of virtual meetings at every hour of the day, but more importantly, rooms and outdoor meetings in LA that never missed a beat. There was an underground community of meeting makers that continued to go to in-person meetings, masks on, hugs and fellowship. I found that the work of early recovery far outweighed the isolation. I left the entertainment industry with two years of sobriety. New career opportunities opened up pretty quickly for me. Transitioning into the startup and tech sales world, I was able to move back home to New York and be closer to my family. As my sobriety continued, new career paths continued to present themselves. When I was introduced to Matt and AJ, I was immediately impressed with their mission and welcomed the opportunity to join the team. I am confident that the combination of my personal and professional success, as well as my CARC, CRPA certification, made my decision the perfect one for me. Having hit my stride in my own recovery, I now see that that my purpose is to help others. It is a purpose I do not take lightly. I bring the same energy and focus that has helped me to get where I am today to other individuals and families alike looking for a better way.

Stephanie's Story - My Journey to Addiction Recovery and Giving Back

By Stephanie Myers, CPRS • January 29, 2025
My name is Stephanie Myers, and I am excited to be part of the incredible team at You Are Accountable . As difficult as my journey prior to recovery was, I am grateful for every step along the way. My recovery journey began five years ago through what I believe was divine intervention. At my lowest point—mentally, physically, and spiritually—I was led to a 12-step recovery program. Most of my life was spent seeking relief from my internal and external struggles. During my teenage years, I thought I had found a solution, but my addiction only progressed, leading me to the depths of despair. My addiction compromised my morals, diminished my integrity, and left me with a profound sense of hopelessness. Overwhelmed by guilt and shame, I realized that everything in my life had to change. I became willing to do whatever it took to shift the trajectory of my life. Gradually, I connected with others who understood my pain and had found their way to recovery. I dedicated myself to internal work and began to fill the spiritual void that I had been attempting to fill with substances. Today, my life is filled with purpose, love, and more beauty than I could have ever imagined five years ago. It is my passion to help others realize that there is hope on the other side of addiction. As a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist, I strive to help plant the seed of recovery and help others grow along their path to recovery.

Brittany's Story: Overcoming Addiction to Find Hope, Healing, and Purpose

By Brittany Pealer, CRPS • January 28, 2025
My name is Brittany, and I’m honored to be part of the team at You Are Accountable . My journey to recovery has been filled with struggles, lessons, and, ultimately, transformation. For years, I lived in the utter hopelessness of addiction, believing there was no way out. A "normal" life felt completely out of reach, and even as a child, I never felt like I had a true purpose. Throughout my active addiction, I found myself trapped in a relentless cycle. I would put one substance down—whether through treatment or court-ordered intervention—but almost immediately, I would pick up another. Each time, I restarted the same painful, destructive cycle, convinced that I could never break free. It wasn’t until I realized that recovery is an inside job that things began to change. Changing people, places, and things (and substances) can only do so much for so long; true recovery requires doing the hard work within. My turning point came when I became pregnant with my first daughter. For the first time in my life, I found a reason to fight for something greater than myself. That moment marked the beginning of my journey to recovery, and through that journey, I discovered the life I never thought was possible. Today, I’m blessed with an amazing job, a beautiful family with two incredible daughters, and an active role in my recovery community. As a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist (CPRS) and Recovery Coach, I am passionate about helping others find hope and healing. I understand the challenges of breaking free from addiction, and I’m living proof that it’s possible to create a life filled with purpose, joy, and connection. Recovery has given me everything I once believed was out of reach, and I’m honored to walk alongside others as they embark on their own journeys to freedom.
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