My Reasons to Not Stop Drinking and Using and Why I Was Wrong

Matt Serel • August 19, 2021

My reasons to not stop drinking and using and why I was wrong

If at some point you notice that you are struggling with substance use chances are your first inclination is not complete abstinence. Instead, you’re likely trying to figure out ways you can moderate your use. Personally, I know that’s how it was for me.


The idea of quitting drinking or using is scary, and feels extreme.

In this blog post I’m going to detail some of the barriers that prevented me from getting sober early on, and talk through my rationale for pushing through the discomfort.

 

Four of the reasons I thought getting completely sober was unnecessary were as follows:


  1. The problem isn’t my use; I use to relax. It is how much I’m using that I need help with. 
  2. I only have a problem with Oxycodone. Drinking isn’t a problem for me.
  3. I’m 25 and drinking IS my social life. 
  4. Drinking at work events is “normal” and expected. 


The problem isn’t my use. It’s how much I use that I need help with. 

At first, I didn’t want to quit anything. I firmly believed that drugs and alcohol were my most important tools to help me cope with stress, and enjoy life. In fact, for a time they were! The problem was that once I started, I had no control over how much and how frequently I used. 


I tried everything to moderate. Some of my strategies were:


  1. I planned long work trips where I only had the substances I could bring with me. 
  2. I planned long personal trips. 
  3. I went to a doctor and received a prescription with a schedule to lower my usage. 


Each time I tried to moderate my use, I ended up right back where I started or worse. 


What’s interesting about this in hindsight, is that if I could moderate, then I wouldn’t have had these thoughts at all. My truth, and the truth for most people that I meet, is that once I lost control there was nothing I could do to turn back. 


I only have a problem with Oxycodone. Drinking isn’t a problem. 

When it came time for me to finally seek professional help for my addiction my wife and I made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The first thing he said to us is that not only did I need to stop using, but I needed to quit all mind altering substances including alcohol. 


Frankly, both my wife and I were floored. We were in complete disagreement with him. We both “knew” that even though I liked to go out and party, that alcohol was never a problem substance for me. 


The psychiatrist, who is still my doctor today, explained that use of any substance would likely lead me back to using my substance of choice. And unfortunately for me, that is exactly what happened. 


Over the next few months, I would try and moderate my drinking, which I hated, and eventually would find myself relapsing on oxycodone. This cycle continued until I overdosed. 


I’m 25 and drinking IS my social life. 

At the time, quitting all substances felt like a death sentence to me. I didn’t understand how I could possibly enjoy life, and life events being completely sober. For example, how could I possibly enjoy: 


  1. Hanging out with my friends?
  2. Bachelor parties? 
  3. Weddings?
  4. Work events?   


The truth was that I couldn’t enjoy these activities anyway. My use had progressed to a point where if I was able to attend at all, I either wasn’t present, or it ended in calamity. Even if I was somehow able to moderate my use at an event, all I could think about was how much I hated moderating. This also completely ignores the fact that if I continued my trajectory, I wouldn’t be invited to these events, or I would die. 


With 8 years of recovery, I now know the truth. Not only can I enjoy all of these activities sober, but I enjoy them more deeply than ever before in my life. 


Drinking at work events is “normal” and expected. 

Many work events take the form of an open bar, a happy hour, or just grabbing casual drinks with a client or colleague. I didn’t see how it was possible to build professional relationships and not drink. 


The truth was no one noticed or cared if I was drinking or not. This was literally a made up fear in my head. Additionally, like I mentioned above I was also in no shape to present myself at these functions especially if I was using. 


Since getting sober, my professional relationships have never been stronger, and I’ve also been immensely more successful. 




The truth is, if I could moderate, I wouldn’t be writing this, and you likely wouldn’t have read this far. Also, the coolest thing about trying to be sober is that you aren’t bound to it. If you decide it isn’t for you, you can always go back to using and drinking. My experience is that sobriety has given me far more than it has taken. 


Give it a try, and if it doesn’t work for you, the bar won’t go anywhere I promise.


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