How to build a "Sober Network" and why it's important

AJ Diaz • February 12, 2021

Why Sober Supports Are So Important For Addiction Recovery

I keep hearing the phrase “sober network”…what does that mean and how do I do that?


If you’re new to getting sober and feel like everyone keeps giving you a million different suggestions and pulling you in so many different directions…just…breathe. And exhale out now…


Better, right? So, about all of these different suggestions and things that you have to do in order to maintain your sobriety and not fall back into drinking or using – they all have their place. The best part about it? They are just suggestions and you can take them one at a time and as you need them. One of the loudest thoughts that I had when I first got sober was “you need to take every suggestion, do everything and get better right away!” The only problem with that was all of the suggestions were really overwhelming and I really didn’t know where to start. 


One of the beliefs that I held in the first 30 days or so of sobriety was that no one could possibly understand how I feel – they wouldn’t get the things that I had done, and they wouldn’t be able to really get me. I stayed with that narrative for a few weeks as it felt real and safe. The only problem was, it seemed to put distance between me and the other people that I was around who were also trying to heal. One of the best parts about treatment is when you are able to get off of the grounds and feel like a person again. My time to do that was when we had the option of going to a 7:30am meeting. Now, I was not the biggest morning person in the world but the idea of being able to drink good coffee and see other people was far too tempting. It was at this first meeting that the notion of “no one gets me” starting to deteriorate. 


I sat in this meeting with a fresh donut and a cup of coffee fully intending on ignoring everyone. Maybe it was the taste of good coffee or the sugar in the donut, but I found myself actually paying attention to the people in the meeting and listening to what they were saying. The first thing I noticed was that they were all dressed to go to work. The next thing that really struck me was that all of these people, who looked very well put together and ready to go about their day, were all talking about feelings and experiences that I had. I didn’t know it yet, but this was my first experience with a sober network. Looking back on it, what I found in that meeting was that I was not alone in my feelings and my experiences. For me, this was the catalyst to reaching out to other people in recovery in order to increase my network of people who “got it.” My family and friends who are not in recovery are truly some of the most supportive, kind and loving people not only in my life, but in the world. The only thing they don’t have is the experience that I went through and to be honest, I wouldn’t want them to have to go through that if they don’t have to. For me, this is where having a sober network was so instrumental in the beginning. It provided an outlet of people who through their own lived experience could listen to what I was feeling and thinking about and truly get it and provide supportive feedback if need be about how they handled either an identical or similar situation and did it sober. 


Like so many things in life, reaching out to others for help is something we have to not only learn is perfectly normal and healthy; it is also something that in the context of recovery, can save us and make us feel whole. With so many suggestions possibly coming at me, starting with increasing my sober network felt like a digestible step to take. We all need connection and this is a wonderful way to get it. 

Jason's Story - From Rock Bottom to New Heights: My Journey of Recovery and Reinvention

By Jason Ertrachter • February 4, 2025
With over a decade of alcohol and drug abuse, it became clear I could not drink responsibly or consume in moderation. Upon further review, I came to understand I was never able to drink responsibly and was predisposed to consume in excess. Moderation is a construct I still don’t understand. Alcohol, drugs, sugar, ego, all things I love to indulge in. At 25 years old, weeks before the pandemic, I found myself being escorted by security from my beloved office in a sought-after industry in a glamorous part of Los Angeles. Pursuing a career in talent management, the late nights, weekly drinking, daily drug use culminated in the unavoidable fear, anxiety and sense of calamity that led me to recovery. I asked myself, “What was the common denominator between lost jobs, friends lost, arrests, hurt feelings and selfishness?” People, places, things were always changing, but the one constant in my story was me with drugs and alcohol. Walking into the West Hollywood Recovery Center on Monday February 5th, 2020 at noon was not my first meeting. It was, however, the first meeting at which I listened and actually took suggestions. Meetings as a teenager, and again in college when my drug use got bad, were simply to get people off my back. As I look back, I understand that I actually needed to get out of my own way, not have those who loved me off of my back. I am grateful to have gotten sober during a time when the world shut down and so many struggled. I had nowhere to go, no outside distractions to challenge my commitment. I fully emerged myself in meetings and all that AA had to offer for young people. There were thousands of virtual meetings at every hour of the day, but more importantly, rooms and outdoor meetings in LA that never missed a beat. There was an underground community of meeting makers that continued to go to in-person meetings, masks on, hugs and fellowship. I found that the work of early recovery far outweighed the isolation. I left the entertainment industry with two years of sobriety. New career opportunities opened up pretty quickly for me. Transitioning into the startup and tech sales world, I was able to move back home to New York and be closer to my family. As my sobriety continued, new career paths continued to present themselves. When I was introduced to Matt and AJ, I was immediately impressed with their mission and welcomed the opportunity to join the team. I am confident that the combination of my personal and professional success, as well as my CARC, CRPA certification, made my decision the perfect one for me. Having hit my stride in my own recovery, I now see that that my purpose is to help others. It is a purpose I do not take lightly. I bring the same energy and focus that has helped me to get where I am today to other individuals and families alike looking for a better way.

Stephanie's Story - My Journey to Addiction Recovery and Giving Back

By Stephanie Myers, CPRS • January 29, 2025
My name is Stephanie Myers, and I am excited to be part of the incredible team at You Are Accountable . As difficult as my journey prior to recovery was, I am grateful for every step along the way. My recovery journey began five years ago through what I believe was divine intervention. At my lowest point—mentally, physically, and spiritually—I was led to a 12-step recovery program. Most of my life was spent seeking relief from my internal and external struggles. During my teenage years, I thought I had found a solution, but my addiction only progressed, leading me to the depths of despair. My addiction compromised my morals, diminished my integrity, and left me with a profound sense of hopelessness. Overwhelmed by guilt and shame, I realized that everything in my life had to change. I became willing to do whatever it took to shift the trajectory of my life. Gradually, I connected with others who understood my pain and had found their way to recovery. I dedicated myself to internal work and began to fill the spiritual void that I had been attempting to fill with substances. Today, my life is filled with purpose, love, and more beauty than I could have ever imagined five years ago. It is my passion to help others realize that there is hope on the other side of addiction. As a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist, I strive to help plant the seed of recovery and help others grow along their path to recovery.

Brittany's Story: Overcoming Addiction to Find Hope, Healing, and Purpose

By Brittany Pealer, CRPS • January 28, 2025
My name is Brittany, and I’m honored to be part of the team at You Are Accountable . My journey to recovery has been filled with struggles, lessons, and, ultimately, transformation. For years, I lived in the utter hopelessness of addiction, believing there was no way out. A "normal" life felt completely out of reach, and even as a child, I never felt like I had a true purpose. Throughout my active addiction, I found myself trapped in a relentless cycle. I would put one substance down—whether through treatment or court-ordered intervention—but almost immediately, I would pick up another. Each time, I restarted the same painful, destructive cycle, convinced that I could never break free. It wasn’t until I realized that recovery is an inside job that things began to change. Changing people, places, and things (and substances) can only do so much for so long; true recovery requires doing the hard work within. My turning point came when I became pregnant with my first daughter. For the first time in my life, I found a reason to fight for something greater than myself. That moment marked the beginning of my journey to recovery, and through that journey, I discovered the life I never thought was possible. Today, I’m blessed with an amazing job, a beautiful family with two incredible daughters, and an active role in my recovery community. As a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist (CPRS) and Recovery Coach, I am passionate about helping others find hope and healing. I understand the challenges of breaking free from addiction, and I’m living proof that it’s possible to create a life filled with purpose, joy, and connection. Recovery has given me everything I once believed was out of reach, and I’m honored to walk alongside others as they embark on their own journeys to freedom.
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