How Gay Pride Paved My Path To Recovery

Jason Arsenault, CRPA, CARC • Jun 24, 2022

How Gay Pride Paved My Path To Recovery

My first Gay Pride celebration was when I moved to NYC in 1998.  I remember going to the parade and having this overwhelming sense of belonging that I often struggled with as a child and teenager.  I longed to feel like a part of a community of likeminded individuals that wanted to celebrate life as our authentic selves.   This year is when I came to accept my sexual orientation as something to celebrate instead of something that I needed to hide behind and be ashamed of. 

For an entire week there were dances, celebrations, parties, marches, art exhibitions and advocacy supporting LGBTQI+ individuals.   I remember there was a feeling of inclusion, acceptance, joy, pride, belonging that I will never forget. 


It was also around 1998 when my alcohol and drug addiction was starting to have an impact on my life.   I started using crystal meth this year and two years later I became HIV Positive as a result of my substance use disorder.  Being both gay and HIV positive I began to lose hope of living a fulfilling, joyous and impactful life. 

In 2016 I decided to get help, just before my addiction killed me, I had the gift of desperation.  It was in treatment where I began to feel worthy of self-love and acceptance of my sexuality and HIV status.  Over the course of the next few years, I began a journey of self-love, healing and acceptance. 


I started attending LGBTQ 12-Step meetings, meeting others in recovery and ways to engage in sober activities and it was here that I was introduced to Sober Gay Pride events in 2018.  Much to my dismay I had no idea the number of sober individuals in recovery that attended pride.   Their was a sense of community within the community.  I realized that I can have just as much fun (probably more fun) sober then when I used substances. 


This year I will be attending NYC Pride for the first time since the pandemic. We have so much to celebrate this year after being quarantined for nearly 2 years.  I was asked to drive a float this year in the parade for a Dr. that does TOP surgeries for individuals that have gender dysphoria and want to feel more in alignment with their gender. As a result of my sobriety I get to play a small part in this amazing event supporting our community.


I feel that this year is especially important for me to participate in Pride to show my support of our community, activist and leaders.  The LGBTQI+ community is facing challenges, obstacles and setbacks related to gender identity, gay marriage, healthcare, schooling and so much more. 

I can’t wait to participate in NYC Pride this year as a Sober Gay Man that stands for unity and inclusion for the LGBTQI community. 

Worth the Wait: Megan's Path to Lasting Addiction Recovery and Purpose

By Megan Miller, CAC • 29 Oct, 2024
I grew up full of fear. Everything terrified me. I never felt comfortable in my own skin. It wasn’t until I started smoking pot at 14—because I was too afraid to stand up to peer pressure—that I finally felt a sense of freedom and relaxation for the first time. I chased that high for the next 16 years. Somehow, I managed to graduate college with an OxyContin addiction, and after that, with nothing tethering me to the real world, things got a lot worse. I went to detox for the first of many times in 2005. I left there thinking I wasn’t an addict and that my use had just gotten out of control. That denial kept me in and out of treatment for the next decade. Heroin became my entire life. I couldn’t hold a job, I overdosed, I got Hepatitis C from sharing needles, and I didn’t care about anything except getting high. I was so full of shame at what my life had become, but I just couldn’t stop. I was great at trying to stop, but I couldn’t stay stopped. The gift of desperation came to me in April 2012. I couldn’t keep living the way I was. I finally wanted to live instead of die. That compulsion to use left me when I finally surrendered to it. Today, I wake up grateful for the life I have. My 6-year-old daughter is the greatest joy of my life, and she has never seen me use. Today, with the support of my wonderful husband, my family, and my recovery network, I live a full life of joy and purpose. There is no more rewarding feeling in the world than sharing the gift of recovery with others.

Overdose Awareness Day: A Reflection on Hope and Recovery

By Dave Aumiller, CPS, NCPRSS • 03 Sep, 2024
Overdose. It’s a word that catches in my throat and a topic that stops me in my tracks. As a person in long-term recovery from Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) and Substance Use Disorder (SUD), I have overdosed many times. I have been revived by paramedics three times. Waking up in a hospital bed with no idea how I got there—scared. Or in the back of an ambulance, sick and angry for being Narcaned, a crazed hostage of my addicted mind. Or in a front yard, soaking wet from someone throwing me in a cold shower, unsuccessfully trying to revive me before leaving me outside—confused. These experiences don’t account for the countless times I have overdosed and been revived by a concerned party—now scarred by the trauma of my disease in its final stage, trying to carry out its final act, resulting in an untimely death. Overdose. After all of this, it was the kindness and care of others that made the difference between another chance and another day. Another dose of hope and life. An opportunity to begin again. On a day like today, reflecting on a topic that is so close to the heart of everyone connected to this reality, I am grateful. I am hopeful. I am humble. Because I know how lucky I am. How undeserving I was. And I live my amends and gratitude by doing my best to embody and live the values of a recovery that works. I also keep close to my heart, at the forefront of my mind, and on the tip of my tongue, the names of the countless others who weren’t as lucky as I. In honor of Overdose Awareness Day, I will say the names of my friends who weren’t fortunate enough to receive as many chances as I did, and I will live in their names—sober today and willing to extend a hand to anyone who needs it in their journey to recover and spread hope to both the sufferer and the caregiver.  Today, let us remember those we have lost, cherish the moments we have been given, and continue to fight for a future where overdose is a distant memory. Together, we can make a difference. Together, we can spread hope.

Overdose Awareness Day: Survivor's Guilt Transformed into Hope

By Shannon Schwoeble, CPS • 29 Aug, 2024
I was devastated when I heard that another close friend I'd made in treatment was gone. Seven friends in my first six months—two had come into treatment, left, and passed away while I was still there. In the years that followed, many others who had walked this path alongside me were lost as well. Nine in my first year of recovery. I found myself asking, "Why am I still here? Why didn’t they ‘get it’?"  Survivor’s guilt was not something I expected to experience in recovery. It hit me hard and fast when I began my journey in 2011. I was terrified. I would sit and think about friends I had just seen or spoken to—did they seem different? Did they sound off? I was so scared of who I would lose next. Through my work with a therapist and finding my own voice, I learned to transform my survivor's guilt into hope. I realized that by using my voice, sharing my story, saying their names, and talking about the profound impact each of them had on me—in life and in death—I could help others understand that recovery is possible. Perhaps, something I share will give someone struggling a glimmer of hope that they, too, can find recovery. On Overdose Awareness Day, August 31, we remember and honor those we've lost to this devastating disease. In loving memory of Ben, Pat, Krista, Harry, Christina, Brook, Dustin, Jeff, Jamie, and everyone we have lost—you are remembered and loved, today and every day.
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