An Unofficial FAQ on 12 Step Programs

sites • October 27, 2020

An Unofficial FAQ on 12 Step Programs

I'd like to preface this post by stating I do not speak on behalf of any 12 step, or peer support program, nor am I speaking as a member of or endorsing any program. Everything below is drawn from my experience as a person in recovery and AJ's experience as a clinician and person in recovery. I encourage all who are interested to read the approved literature from various 12 step groups. You can find a few links below:


Alcoholics Anonymous - https://www.aa.org/pages/en_us/aa-literature

Narcotics Anonymous - https://na.org/?ID=literature

Cocaine Anonymous - https://ca.org/literature/


When it first came out that I had a problem with substances, opiates in particular, my first stop was a psychiatrist that was recommended by my internist. His recommendations in our first session were as follows:


  1. I stop abusing pills.
  2. Take Naltrexone after detoxing to help with cravings and prevent relapse.
  3. Continue with therapy.
  4. Check out 12 step meetings (AA, NA, CA, etc).


All of this seemed reasonable to me except for the advice to check out a 12 step or peer support meeting. At the time, I didn't know anything about 12 step programs except for that I thought they were for losers who couldn't manage their own problems. Harsh, but that was my opinion. Unfortunately, as I posted about a few weeks ago, I overdosed two months later and enrolled in a treatment program.


As I went through the extremely hard work of treatment it became apparent that beating addiction wasn't something that I could, or even wanted to, beat alone. 12 step programs aren't the only way to find peer support in recovery from addiction, but they are the most well known, and the most widely available medium. The goal of this post isn't to convince you that you need a 12 step program to get sober, but rather to provide a resource of common questions that AJ and I hear.


Are 12 Step Programs Religious? What if I don’t believe in God?


Then this is the program for you! Although 12 Step Programs and members of 12 Step Programs mention God, they are by no means religious programs. The 12 step programs are spiritual programs that allows for people of all denominations and levels of faith to participate.  My definition of "spirituality" is living for a greater purpose. It can be as simple as that. If religion, or spirituality feels not right for you, there are specific meetings for atheists and agnostics.


If I take medication prescribed by my doctor am I sober?


Yes.  12 step programs have no opinion on medication taken as prescribed by doctors. However, it is important that any doctor you see knows about your addiction, and understands addiction.


Are sponsors mean?


A sponsor is simply a mentor in sobriety. They are there to help guide you through the 12-steps as they were taken through them and be there for you through ups and downs. If you find that the current sponsor you are working with isn’t exactly fitting right, it is perfectly normal to find sponsorship elsewhere and let that person know that things aren’t working out.


Can you fail out of a 12 step program?


“The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.” 12 step programs do not have any limitations on who can attend meetings and therefore there is no barometer for not being welcomed. Relapse is a part of the story for many people in long-term recovery and they are always encouraged to come back for support. If you want to stop drinking/using and want sober support and even if you don’t but you are curious, a 12-step program is a safe place.  


Can I still come to meetings without doing the steps?


Absolutely! There is no requirement in order to stay in 12 step programs other than wanting to stop drinking or using. Getting a sponsor is not a prerequisite nor are the steps. They are suggested as ways of helping but are not must-haves.


If I relapse, can I come back?


Not only can you come back, everyone in that meeting would love to see you and hear you!


I haven’t found a meeting that I like, what should I do?

 

This is something that almost everyone can identify with! The best part about 12 step is that there are so many meetings! If the meeting you are going to isn’t exactly your style, our team will sit down with you to figure out exactly what YOU are looking for! With so many options to choose from, there is absolutely a meeting for you!


How do I find a meeting that I like with in person meetings being shut down due to COVID?


The rise of “ZOOM” meetings means you now have even more options! Websites like https://12step.video, and the “Meeting Guide” app aggregate AA and NA meetings from all over the world. You can now attend a meeting anywhere at any time! Matt’s new morning routine includes a cardio workout and joining a meeting.

 

How do I find a sponsor?

 

Great question! Now that you have been attending meetings and have possibly found a home group, finding a sponsor will be a bit easier! The general consensus is that you should seek someone out who “has what you want,” but what does that mean? Looking for someone who has the type of sobriety you want – how they carry themselves, what their spiritual life looks like, how they handle difficult situations, etc. You can always seek someone in particular out at a meeting or you can go to the sponsorship rep at your home group and let them know you are looking for one. If that feels uncomfortable, let us know and we will help!

 

How do I find a sponsor during COVID?

 

With “ZOOM” meetings this has not changed! Every meeting will have a break to discuss sponsorship, and in many meetings people will post their numbers in the chat. Additionally, AJ and Matt are happy to help as well! 

Jason's Story - From Rock Bottom to New Heights: My Journey of Recovery and Reinvention

By Jason Ertrachter • February 4, 2025
With over a decade of alcohol and drug abuse, it became clear I could not drink responsibly or consume in moderation. Upon further review, I came to understand I was never able to drink responsibly and was predisposed to consume in excess. Moderation is a construct I still don’t understand. Alcohol, drugs, sugar, ego, all things I love to indulge in. At 25 years old, weeks before the pandemic, I found myself being escorted by security from my beloved office in a sought-after industry in a glamorous part of Los Angeles. Pursuing a career in talent management, the late nights, weekly drinking, daily drug use culminated in the unavoidable fear, anxiety and sense of calamity that led me to recovery. I asked myself, “What was the common denominator between lost jobs, friends lost, arrests, hurt feelings and selfishness?” People, places, things were always changing, but the one constant in my story was me with drugs and alcohol. Walking into the West Hollywood Recovery Center on Monday February 5th, 2020 at noon was not my first meeting. It was, however, the first meeting at which I listened and actually took suggestions. Meetings as a teenager, and again in college when my drug use got bad, were simply to get people off my back. As I look back, I understand that I actually needed to get out of my own way, not have those who loved me off of my back. I am grateful to have gotten sober during a time when the world shut down and so many struggled. I had nowhere to go, no outside distractions to challenge my commitment. I fully emerged myself in meetings and all that AA had to offer for young people. There were thousands of virtual meetings at every hour of the day, but more importantly, rooms and outdoor meetings in LA that never missed a beat. There was an underground community of meeting makers that continued to go to in-person meetings, masks on, hugs and fellowship. I found that the work of early recovery far outweighed the isolation. I left the entertainment industry with two years of sobriety. New career opportunities opened up pretty quickly for me. Transitioning into the startup and tech sales world, I was able to move back home to New York and be closer to my family. As my sobriety continued, new career paths continued to present themselves. When I was introduced to Matt and AJ, I was immediately impressed with their mission and welcomed the opportunity to join the team. I am confident that the combination of my personal and professional success, as well as my CARC, CRPA certification, made my decision the perfect one for me. Having hit my stride in my own recovery, I now see that that my purpose is to help others. It is a purpose I do not take lightly. I bring the same energy and focus that has helped me to get where I am today to other individuals and families alike looking for a better way.

Stephanie's Story - My Journey to Addiction Recovery and Giving Back

By Stephanie Myers, CPRS • January 29, 2025
My name is Stephanie Myers, and I am excited to be part of the incredible team at You Are Accountable . As difficult as my journey prior to recovery was, I am grateful for every step along the way. My recovery journey began five years ago through what I believe was divine intervention. At my lowest point—mentally, physically, and spiritually—I was led to a 12-step recovery program. Most of my life was spent seeking relief from my internal and external struggles. During my teenage years, I thought I had found a solution, but my addiction only progressed, leading me to the depths of despair. My addiction compromised my morals, diminished my integrity, and left me with a profound sense of hopelessness. Overwhelmed by guilt and shame, I realized that everything in my life had to change. I became willing to do whatever it took to shift the trajectory of my life. Gradually, I connected with others who understood my pain and had found their way to recovery. I dedicated myself to internal work and began to fill the spiritual void that I had been attempting to fill with substances. Today, my life is filled with purpose, love, and more beauty than I could have ever imagined five years ago. It is my passion to help others realize that there is hope on the other side of addiction. As a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist, I strive to help plant the seed of recovery and help others grow along their path to recovery.

Brittany's Story: Overcoming Addiction to Find Hope, Healing, and Purpose

By Brittany Pealer, CRPS • January 28, 2025
My name is Brittany, and I’m honored to be part of the team at You Are Accountable . My journey to recovery has been filled with struggles, lessons, and, ultimately, transformation. For years, I lived in the utter hopelessness of addiction, believing there was no way out. A "normal" life felt completely out of reach, and even as a child, I never felt like I had a true purpose. Throughout my active addiction, I found myself trapped in a relentless cycle. I would put one substance down—whether through treatment or court-ordered intervention—but almost immediately, I would pick up another. Each time, I restarted the same painful, destructive cycle, convinced that I could never break free. It wasn’t until I realized that recovery is an inside job that things began to change. Changing people, places, and things (and substances) can only do so much for so long; true recovery requires doing the hard work within. My turning point came when I became pregnant with my first daughter. For the first time in my life, I found a reason to fight for something greater than myself. That moment marked the beginning of my journey to recovery, and through that journey, I discovered the life I never thought was possible. Today, I’m blessed with an amazing job, a beautiful family with two incredible daughters, and an active role in my recovery community. As a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist (CPRS) and Recovery Coach, I am passionate about helping others find hope and healing. I understand the challenges of breaking free from addiction, and I’m living proof that it’s possible to create a life filled with purpose, joy, and connection. Recovery has given me everything I once believed was out of reach, and I’m honored to walk alongside others as they embark on their own journeys to freedom.
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