Matt's Story

sites • Oct 13, 2020

Behind the Highlight Reel

My Truth


On October 14, 2013 I overdosed on Oxycodone in a hotel room on a work trip. 


I woke up in the hospital ICU unable to breathe, not knowing where I was, or how I got there. I only survived that day because my wife, girlfriend at the time, was nervous that I didn’t answer my phone. 


This year, I celebrate ten years sober from drugs and alcohol. 


The Outsiders Perspective


For those of you who know me professionally or peripherally the fact that I was a junkie for much of my early and mid twenties may be a surprise to you. 


From the outside looking in the trajectory of my life both before and after I got sober looks uninterrupted and what I would picture as ideal: 


  • I started my first technology company in high school.
  • I graduated from Lehigh University.
  • I attended Brooklyn Law School at night while starting a technology company.
  • I founded and sold AccuPoint which is now one of the largest technology vendors in the Autism Behavioral Health space. 
  • I married my best friend that I started dating when I was 18, and we now have a beautiful daughter and an awesome dog.


However, in reality, there was so much pain and struggle beneath the surface. The last two items on that list almost never happened. 


Behind The Highlight Reel


Recovery from addiction is hard. It is really, really hard. What I detail below really only scratches the surface of my experience.


I remember the fear and shame of being told I needed to go rehab for my addiction. 


“What will my friends think? What will happen to my company? What if my partners and clients find out?” 


I remember getting back from treatment and my relationships being in shambles. 


“How can I hang out with my friends who drink? Will Becky ever see me the same way? How will I go to bachelor parties? How will I get married? How will I enjoy life?”  


Lastly, I remember feeling like it would have been easier if I just died on that day 10 years ago. 


Unfortunately, like many chronic diseases, my experience is that there is no addiction cure. However, there is treatment that can help you process and put your addiction in remission. For me, getting clean from drugs and/or alcohol was the easy part. Staying clean, and living a happy and free life is the hard part.   


This is what my treatment consisted of: 

  • 30 Days at an inpatient rehab, followed by
  • 8 Weeks in an intensive outpatient program - 3 hours a day, 4 days a week starting at 6pm, followed by, 
  • 3 months in a less intensive outpatient program - 1.5 hours a day, 2 days a week, starting at 6pm, concurrently with
  • 1 hour a week of psychotherapy, concurrently with
  • Participation in peer support groups, concurrently with
  • Random drug testing


Thankfully, while this was all incredibly hard work, isolating, and immensely time consuming, I was extremely fortunate. I was fortunate because I had health insurance and a familial support system that helped guide me towards quality care in a time where I was in no shape to take care of myself. 


I survived that day 10 years ago because my wife was concerned about me. I live today because of the countless people who helped me get back on my feet. 


If you or anyone you know are struggling with addiction, there is hope, it can get better, I’m here for you, and I love you.


My Next Chapter


I’ve had the opportunity over the last few months to reflect on my life, what I would like to do differently, and where I would like to do more of the same. 


One thing I’ve noticed is that our healthcare system does a decent job of getting people clean, however, due to how healthcare reimbursement works (largely fee-for-service), support is either fairly intensive, or non existent. 


Unfortunately, and unsurprisingly, it is estimated that a large majority of the people who seek treatment relapse, and I’ve seen far too many people go a step further and die. This has only been exacerbated due to the challenges and in many times isolation caused by COVID. 


The mission of Accountable, and my mission, is to provide a low touch, low cost, tele-enabled, safety net of support for individuals in recovery as they transition from therapeutic care into a fulfilling, and self determined life. 

Worth the Wait: Megan's Path to Lasting Addiction Recovery and Purpose

By Megan Miller, CAC • 29 Oct, 2024
I grew up full of fear. Everything terrified me. I never felt comfortable in my own skin. It wasn’t until I started smoking pot at 14—because I was too afraid to stand up to peer pressure—that I finally felt a sense of freedom and relaxation for the first time. I chased that high for the next 16 years. Somehow, I managed to graduate college with an OxyContin addiction, and after that, with nothing tethering me to the real world, things got a lot worse. I went to detox for the first of many times in 2005. I left there thinking I wasn’t an addict and that my use had just gotten out of control. That denial kept me in and out of treatment for the next decade. Heroin became my entire life. I couldn’t hold a job, I overdosed, I got Hepatitis C from sharing needles, and I didn’t care about anything except getting high. I was so full of shame at what my life had become, but I just couldn’t stop. I was great at trying to stop, but I couldn’t stay stopped. The gift of desperation came to me in April 2012. I couldn’t keep living the way I was. I finally wanted to live instead of die. That compulsion to use left me when I finally surrendered to it. Today, I wake up grateful for the life I have. My 6-year-old daughter is the greatest joy of my life, and she has never seen me use. Today, with the support of my wonderful husband, my family, and my recovery network, I live a full life of joy and purpose. There is no more rewarding feeling in the world than sharing the gift of recovery with others.

Overdose Awareness Day: A Reflection on Hope and Recovery

By Dave Aumiller, CPS, NCPRSS • 03 Sep, 2024
Overdose. It’s a word that catches in my throat and a topic that stops me in my tracks. As a person in long-term recovery from Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) and Substance Use Disorder (SUD), I have overdosed many times. I have been revived by paramedics three times. Waking up in a hospital bed with no idea how I got there—scared. Or in the back of an ambulance, sick and angry for being Narcaned, a crazed hostage of my addicted mind. Or in a front yard, soaking wet from someone throwing me in a cold shower, unsuccessfully trying to revive me before leaving me outside—confused. These experiences don’t account for the countless times I have overdosed and been revived by a concerned party—now scarred by the trauma of my disease in its final stage, trying to carry out its final act, resulting in an untimely death. Overdose. After all of this, it was the kindness and care of others that made the difference between another chance and another day. Another dose of hope and life. An opportunity to begin again. On a day like today, reflecting on a topic that is so close to the heart of everyone connected to this reality, I am grateful. I am hopeful. I am humble. Because I know how lucky I am. How undeserving I was. And I live my amends and gratitude by doing my best to embody and live the values of a recovery that works. I also keep close to my heart, at the forefront of my mind, and on the tip of my tongue, the names of the countless others who weren’t as lucky as I. In honor of Overdose Awareness Day, I will say the names of my friends who weren’t fortunate enough to receive as many chances as I did, and I will live in their names—sober today and willing to extend a hand to anyone who needs it in their journey to recover and spread hope to both the sufferer and the caregiver.  Today, let us remember those we have lost, cherish the moments we have been given, and continue to fight for a future where overdose is a distant memory. Together, we can make a difference. Together, we can spread hope.

Overdose Awareness Day: Survivor's Guilt Transformed into Hope

By Shannon Schwoeble, CPS • 29 Aug, 2024
I was devastated when I heard that another close friend I'd made in treatment was gone. Seven friends in my first six months—two had come into treatment, left, and passed away while I was still there. In the years that followed, many others who had walked this path alongside me were lost as well. Nine in my first year of recovery. I found myself asking, "Why am I still here? Why didn’t they ‘get it’?"  Survivor’s guilt was not something I expected to experience in recovery. It hit me hard and fast when I began my journey in 2011. I was terrified. I would sit and think about friends I had just seen or spoken to—did they seem different? Did they sound off? I was so scared of who I would lose next. Through my work with a therapist and finding my own voice, I learned to transform my survivor's guilt into hope. I realized that by using my voice, sharing my story, saying their names, and talking about the profound impact each of them had on me—in life and in death—I could help others understand that recovery is possible. Perhaps, something I share will give someone struggling a glimmer of hope that they, too, can find recovery. On Overdose Awareness Day, August 31, we remember and honor those we've lost to this devastating disease. In loving memory of Ben, Pat, Krista, Harry, Christina, Brook, Dustin, Jeff, Jamie, and everyone we have lost—you are remembered and loved, today and every day.
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